Big Friendship
October 7 // à la Sarah Kurdt
Me & Zoe at my birthday party (our fashion has since improved)
2000
As you may know, I moved to Philadelphia 5 months ago after being laid off from my job in New York. My boyfriend and I had been doing long distance, and decided quarantining together was the only way to go. (He works from home, so we are together 24/7… which I love, but sometimes I think I drive him crazy!) What I didn’t realize was moving during a pandemic proves to be hard to make new friends in a new city.
Honestly, I’ve never had an issue making girlfriends before. Ever since elementary school, I’ve always had a circle of friends that I felt comfortable confiding in, celebrating with, and having over to my house for dinner. I’m a “girls girl” in every sense of the word, and get a lot of energy from having girl talks, book club meetings, and girls-only trips to the beach. (P.S. Watch the movie Booksmart on Hulu for a great movie on female friendship!)
I miss having girlfriends around, dearly. Granted, I am still unemployed and we are in the middle of a global pandemic, but I am not used to being deprived of that female connection. Of course I keep in touch with my New York City friends, but it isn’t the same as meeting someone for a long walk & coffee on a Sunday morning.
Me & Amanda in Switzerland during Virginia Tech’s study abroad program
2010
To try to gain some understanding on what I’ve been feeling, I read the new book Big Friendship: How We Keep Each Other Close by best friends and Call Your Girlfriend podcast co-hosts Aminatou Sow and Ann Friedman. The book shares their journey of their decade long friendship and the miscommunications & serious growth as humans they have had throughout the years. My biggest takeaway was how important authentic female friendships are. In this current day, a lot of women expect their partner to be their best friend, confidante, shopping buddy & also their romantic lover (vs 70 years ago when a husband was just a husband.) I recommend reading this book if you have had some long term friendships in your life - it really makes you appreciate them and want to give them a big hug.
Some steps I’ve taken since moving to Philly? I reached out to several people with Philly connections and asked them to set me up on some Happy Hour dates. I’ve gone to outdoor yoga classes with hopes of striking up a conversation with a like-minded friend. I’ve been applying to jobs like crazy (it is so easy to become friends with a coworker, am I right!?)
Girls Trip! Me & Gwen at Red Rocks Ampitheatre in Colorado seeing Vulfpeck & Khruangbin
2019
In the meantime, I’m cherishing the close friendships I have from childhood (shout out Zoe & Leanna!) from college (shout out Jamie & Amanda!) and from New York City (shout out Gwen, Emmy, Caroline, Jackie & Katie!) I know in time I’ll make some girlfriends here, but just wanted to share the frustration I was feeling from moving to a new city during Covid-19.
Call your girlfriends. Xx.
